My name is Lois McElravy. I am a speaker, writer, and brain injury thriver. I’ve always been observant and inquisitive. As a child, I acquired the nickname “Nose-ita” because I needed to know who, what, when, where, how and–most of all–why. As an adult, my curiosity extended to a deeper need, a longing to understand the whys of life and the wonders of people. My mind worked overtime trying to make sense of situations and to figure out the story behind a behavior. I truly believed a solution existed for every problem and, if I looked hard enough, I’d find it.
It wasn’t until a careless driver crashed into the back of my car, and I found myself struggling to adjust to my new reality of living with a brain injury, that I learned sometimes there isn’t a fix for your problem. I cycled through the stages someone experiences when suffering an abrupt life-change: from why me? to what now?. Finally, I surrendered. No, I didn’t give up. I just quit fighting for what never would be. I needed to let go of my former identity before I could build a new life.
Living with a brain injury has taught me a wealth of life lessons. I used to think the phrase “everything happens for a reason” was something we said to someone when we didn’t know what else to say. I’ve learned it certainly isn’t something we want to hear others say to us. I now believe every detail of our lives has significance and is designed to:
• Train us for the challenges we will face;
• Provide wisdom or insight;
• Help us gain a deeper understanding;
• Teach us a lesson; or
• Turn us on the path leading to our divine purpose on earth.
Living with a brain injury has developed my intuition and heightened my other senses. I learned how to remain calm during stressful situations, how to listen and be guided by my internal wisdom, how to ask for help, how to respond with resilience, and dared to feel happy in the midst of trying times.
I am a master at using humor in a multitude of ways to cope, improve the quality of my life, build healthy relationships, survive frustrations, gain new perspectives, transform disappointments into valuable learning experiences, and have more fun. Check out my Hangin’ on with Humor Blog.
Twenty years ago, my neuro-doctor predicted that when I reached age 50, I would be teaching the compensatory skills and coping strategies I’d learned by that time to my peers. She was right.
