About Lois’ Blog
Who is Lois McElravy?
Welcome to the Lessons from Lois blog.
My name is Lois McElravy. I speak from personal experience – “There is nothing funny about living with a brain injury … but there is plenty to laugh about.”
The same principle holds true when trouble strikes at work or home. I think you’ll agree – There is nothing funny about …
* everyday disruptions
* unexpected difficulties
* uncontrollable influences or
* dealing with constant change.
But there is plenty to laugh about … if you “develop your humor habit.”
Nineteen years ago, I was an energetic, optimistic, talented, happy wife, mother and entrepreneur. In a split second, everything changed. February 7, 1990 was an ordinary morning. I decided to surprise my husband by taking donuts to him at work. As I waited to turn my car into the bakery parking lot, a big utility truck violently crashed into the back of my car.
Brain injury survivor was not on my “who I wanted to be when I grew up list.” But without any warning, and certainly without my permission, I was instantly drafted into a life that I did not choose.
I became “terminally serious” working with therapists, determined to shed the dazed and confused shell that trapped me. Things don’t always go as planned. Many desperate efforts to restore my shattered identity failed. After several months of watching my disheartened behavior, my husband Larry asked, “Lois, are you going to allow your brain injury to ruin every day?”
After careful consideration – of three seconds, I replied, “Yes, I think I will, because it’s not fair.”
He arched his eyebrows and said, ”Well, I don’t think you have to.”
So I did what any young woman dealing with my predicament would do next. I called my mom to tell on him. Only my mom didn’t respond the way I wanted. She said, “Lois, there were many times in my life, that if I had not laughed, I would have cried. Can’t you find a way to laugh about some of the chaotic things that happen to you?”
“Mom, I wish I could laugh, but it doesn’t feel funny to me.” Then she asked me if I would try to find some humor the next time I found myself in an awkward or embarrassing situation. It took me a while before I could do what Larry and my mom suggested. Sometimes we have to get tired of being miserable and sick of feeling sorry for ourselves, before we surrender to our new reality. Surrender doesn’t mean give-up. It means quit fighting for what will never be, so we can turn our attention and devote our energies toward building a new life.
A popular saying goes, “What you look for, you will find.” After a period of grieving for my losses, I decided to start looking for humor in my difficulties. Even when it didn’t feel funny at the time, I found humor in the ironies and absurdities. Laughter followed. It is true – “Humor helps and laughter heals.”
Doctors told me that two years post injury was the best I could ever hope for my brain to recover. But, I could continue to improve my abilities using systems and strategies. So, I took advantage of every opportunity to improve my health, my attitude, and my abilities. (And still do.) I longed to live a more fulfilling life, and not just exist in my structured and isolated environment. Even though it appeared certain that my situation would not change, I never gave up hope.
When I least expected, something wonderful happened. When I was twelve years post injury, I started to notice some significant improvements in my brain function. When I asked my doctors to explain, they said, “It’s a result of your consistent effort of doing many small things over a long period of time.” When I was 14 years post injury, I started speaking professionally, inspiring others to “Never give-up or lose hope. When you least expect, wonderful things still happen!”
Today I am nineteen years post injury. I still struggle day to day with the challenges of living with a brain injury. But, things are not as they first appear. The hardships caused by my brain injury were easy to identify. It took years before I discovered the priceless treasures in my trials.
Living with a brain injury taught and trained me. I am a master at using humor in a multitude of ways to cope and improve the quality of my life, to build healthy relationships, survive frustrations, gain new perspectives, transform disappointments into valuable learning experiences, and have more fun.
Other treasures I discovered and talents I acquired include the capabilities to remain calm under stressful situations, to listen and be guided by my internal wisdom, ask for help, develop creative solutions, bounce back quickly from setbacks and dare to feel happy in the midst of trying times.
Lessons from Lois are personal stories that reveal life-changing insights, and life lessons learned during the journey of accepting my new reality, adjusting to a sudden life change, and overcoming the adversities of living with a brain injury. The strategies and tools that I use to manage my challenges have practical application for anyone who wants to feel happy and find success in the constantly changing, unpredictable, fast paced world we live in today.
Thank you for the privilege of allowing me to share my treasures with you and for the pleasure of helping you to “develop your humor habit.”
“When life knocks you down, humor is the magic wand that cushions your fall, lifts you back up and points you in a new direction.” – Lois McElravy
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TO LEARN MORE ABOUT LOIS: If you are interested in reading the full version of my brain injury story, or other articles that I have written, please visit my website at www.lessonsfromlois.com
TO HIRE LOIS: For a full listing of my speaker programs and trainings, testimonials, client list, to request a media kit, or contact me, please visit my website at www.lessonsfromlois.com