I have two thoughts that came to my overactive mind. A quote by Dr. Seuss, “Don’t worry so much about what people think. They don’t do it that often.” The second is a mantra I say to help build my self-confidence. I borrowed it from Al Franken’s Stuart Smalley from year’s past SNL, a catchphrase
“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people really like me.” I say it with conviction. It makes me giggle and fills me with gusto.

Thank you for your kind remarks. I’ve been thinking about what you said, too. I’ve noticed there are layers of denial that the “old self” is gone forever after a brain injury that get tangled up with layers of recognizing and accepting the “new self.” Sometimes it’s the brain injured person who “gets it” first, that he/she is not the same person, nor ever will be who he/she used to be and his/her family and/or friends refuse to accept this new reality. This is often the case when the brain injured person by appearances looks and sounds the same, but cannot function the same. Other times, it’s the brain injured person’s family and friends who first understand that the “old person” is forever gone because they notice the “new person” is different. In this case, it’s the survivor who is in denial and often it’s the injury that interferes with the survivor’s ability to realize he/she is not the same person as before his/her injury. What’s sad is that either way, the brain injured person will continue to try living their life as he/she did previous to the injury and will continually struggle with confusion, frustration and a life of chaos. Rehabilitation will be delayed until the survivor lets go of the “old self” and learns how to live as the
“new self.” If family and/or friends won’t or can’t let go of the past and accept the new reality, then the survivor will have to find another support system to help them adjust. My heart aches for your ex-husband. Even though it’s a painful process to accept your “new self,” think of how painfully desperate it must feel to try to live up to expectations you can’t meet.

Thank you, Lois, for your inspiration.